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11:44 a.m. - 2004-12-08 ...most likely the most overused sentence in Diaryland history... Well here we are approaching finals week. I have two papers to do today, though they are the type of papers you bullshit your way through without any real concept of what the hell you are taking about...I have four finals next week which I will study individually for the night before I take them and it seems like everyone else's schedules and lives are more important that mine at the moment. My mother and I had this odd conversation yesterday... On Monday I met a woman who told me about the BSN and Masters completion programs here at the local Uni. I was like "wow, I can totally do this here, I wonder if I can find something extremely comperable in California." I understand that at 26 I need to get through this two year program. But as far as I am concerned the rest of my schooling can be at my own pace. I could go right in and finish up, which if I stay here I most likely will do. But what of California offers me the program, the tuition and the life I want? Then would it hurt to work for a year to gain residency and be able to go to Stanford? Most likely not! But that is MY desicion to make. And suddenly the histories and past failures of my mother are beginning to crop up in these conversations about MY future. Some of the comments were "I wouldn't be so concerned if you were 22, but you are nearly thirty." "I don't understand why you are looking so far in the future..." "I think you are using this California idea as some form of escapism" Well you know what? My issues are not YOUR issues. You trust me to make all sorts of life altering desicions but suddenly the most thought out and planned out one of my life you are fighting me on? What is this about? I know what this is about...but how do you tell your own mother of whom you have the highest of respect for that her family's disfunctional mindset is beginning to filter into her own life? FFS. Well I feel that is the biggest gripe on my plate. Maeve-Arie 0 comments
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